Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Dealing with "Terrible Two's"

(Warning: Stetson overload)

OUI! Stetson and I just returned home from a fun but stressful vacation visiting family in Southern California. What was suppose to be a 3 in half week vacation, was soon cut short to 10 days! Ugh, what a bummer but I've learned, it's Stetson's World and i'm just along for the ride.

Typically, Stetson is a good natured kid. I think Justin and I have had it a little easy with him. He has slept through the night since 6 weeks old. He has always been a good eater, great napper and overall a very mindful child. I know, sometimes I don't even know how we got so lucky.

Oh wait, it's because I am a much gentler, but very strict version of Hitler. I run a tight ship. Routine is everything to the Umphrey household. My bible: Baby Wise. It's the driving force to keep order and balance in our home. If chaos enters, it is up to me to maintain order and peace with Stetson. If I breakdown, he breaks down, and then all H.E. Double Hockey sticks breaks loose. Hence why we worship it.

Baby Wise has a simple concept. Keep routine, Keep a happy baby. Sure, it's controversial. It basically states that you'll be a slave to routine for the first years when they're young. If you like familiarity, driving the same way to work, are a bit of an introvert, and stray away from change, then Baby Wise is your cup of tea. I can't tell you how many compliments Stetson receives for being a well behaved boy. I think part of it is the environment Justin and I create for him, but I also think a lot of it has to do with Stetson's Routine and everything I took away from Baby Wise.

So, going with the flow, EVERYDAY, is not really our jam. If it's the occasional Saturday or park date here and there we can totally hang. Missing our naps everyday, staying up way past our bedtime (don't forget about time change, I did), and being at an age where independence is being established is just not a good cocktail.

(tired because of lack of sleep)

The first week was great because I stuck to our routine. We played, we napped, we played some more. The second week, family pressure and my wanting to be more loosy goose really came back to bite me in the butt. It started with boycotting naps. Then it turned into not eating anything healthy. Mac and cheese and white bread. (cringe). I finally knew I had a problem when he wouldn't go down at night. He cried hysterically and made a huge spectacle.

(loosing our minds)

I started to breakdown when Stetson was not listening and was starting to hit me. I WILL NOT TOLERATE THAT! After night three I had hit my limits and booked the first flight home....Such a drama queen.....but I don't care! I knew it had to be done. I had to get back home asap before the behavior spun out of control and I loose my sweet boy all together. It was hard to say goodbye to all our friends and family and ruin plans.  I do not regret for a second coming home and redirecting all my attention to Stetson and his needs. I am SO not ready to give up nap time.

(SO not going to be the parent that has to drive their baby for naps) 

We came home Saturday and I've never wanted to barricade myself in our home so badly. Lock the door and shut of all communication to the outside world. While I wait for Baby Wise part Two to come in the mail, I have been focusing on getting us back on our routine. I don't even go a minute late for bath time. The first night was rough. He balled for an hour before he finally went down. Again, I don't know what my bible (book) will tell me but my gut said to have him cry it out. Not to go in the room and not to fluff my feathers at him. (yell/play tough)

I am a firm believer in crying it out. Stetson needs to deal with his frustration. It's not like he was in danger. My thoughts on crying it out our this:

a. He's in no danger
b. He'll eveunatlly become so exhausted he'll have to sit down and fall asleep
c. He's learning self esteem and how to self sooth
d. Creating positive respect between one another.

Let's not forget who the adult is here.

Again, I DO NOT go into the room.

NO I am not going in there.
NO, if he is thirsty, he shouldn't have screamed so long. He'll remember the feeling of being thirsty or hungry. I will not reward his bad behavior. What he will remember is the feeling of being thirsty and hungry. Maybe next time he'll think twice about screaming.

And so it was. The next night, he whimpered for 20 minutes before throwing in the towel and going to bed. The following night after that, he went straight to bed just like always.

(back to our afternoon walks)

It was difficult to gain control of his behavior when we were staying in CA. It's hard when you're staying at someone else's home. You don't want to annoy your hosts and you don't want to be disrespectful when they offer up help. There can come a time though, when you have to many cooks in the kitchen.

- "Are you going to let him cry?" "What if you just go in and lay him back down." "what if he is thirsty?" "what if he is hungry?" "He's probably over Nap time" So many what if's

My advise. TRUST your GUTS.

(back to bath time)

 I can't wait to read more about Baby Wise Toddler addition. Again, I'm not trying how preach on how you should raise your child. This is just what works super well for us!

We are day three back into our routine. Although nap time is proving to be still a challenge, I'm hopeful that it is just a stage and will pass.

Anyone else going through this stage with their 1.5 year old?


No comments:

Post a Comment